Japhy who?

I picked Japhy Ryder because he is how I wanted to be. I wanted to grow up in the woods and and know how to cut down the trees and live life like I knew I was going to die. I wanted to live in a shack on the edge of the city and read and think and be with my friends and live. I wanted to climb the Matterhorn and spend a summer on top of desolation and go to Asia and study the zen monks and live.

 To live!!

But that's not who I am.

I didn't grow up in the woods, I have some trees in my backyard but that doesn't really count.
Once I cut down a tree but it was pretty small and it took me 4 days.
I know I'm going to die, but that doesn't motivate me like I feel it should.
I'd get bored in a shack and cities give me panic attacks.
But I do like to read, and I do like time with my friends.
And hiking might not be so bad if I could go at my own..

But my point is I'm not Japhy Ryder, I'm me.

I'm disorganized and messy
and I'm anxious and get too panicky
and I'm overly sensitive and always hold grudges
and I talk too much when I shouldn't but don't speak up when I really should
and I'm over confident while staying very insecure
and I think too much
and I think too much
and I think too much

But I usually try my best, and I think I can start to do better. I'll do better.

I'm Dylan Stevens. Hi.